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Excerpt from Melancholia I
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I'm trying to get my hands loose, but he's gripping me tight by the wrists, he's clasping my wrists, he's holding me tight and I'm standing next to him and he's clasping me tight by the wrists and I'm standing next to him and we're at Malkasten, there are lots of people at Malkasten and I'm standing next to a round table, near the door and there are people around us, people are sitting at almost all the tables and looking at me, everywhere there are eyes looking around me and black and white clothes are coming towards me, black and white clothes are coming towards me at a terrible speed, yes now the clothes are coming, and the black and white clothes are moving around me, very near me, then they're moving suddenly, very fast, away from me, black and white clothes are coming from all the eyes that are looking and looking at me, 'cause everyone's sitting and looking at me, they're staring at me, 'cause people are sitting at all the tables, people are sitting at tables in front of us and behind us and they're staring at us and now they're all coming, in black and white clothes, towards me and the clothes are wrapping themselves around my body, 'cause now they're coming toward us, the clothes are moving towards me, the clothes are moving to me, the clothes are moving towards me, now the clothes are coming towards me. There are people sitting and looking at me and from their eyes black and white clothes are coming towards me and the clothes are laying themselves over my head, now the clothes are laying themselves over my head and I can't see anything and I can't breathe and I have my hands down the coat pocket of the man who was sitting next to me, the man who's called Alfred and who can't paint and I feel that my pipe is down in his pocket, but I can't stand holding my hands down his coat pocket, it won't do to stand with my hands down his coat pocket, but he's holding my hands tight and the black and white clothes are hanging over my head, the clothes are covering up my mouth, the clothes are over my head, the clothes are coming towards me and I can't breathe, can just take short breaths, when the black and white clothes slip a bit, the clothes are coming from the people who are sitting at all the tables looking at me, from their eyes, 'cause from all the tables around me, from all the people, from their eyes, are coming these currents, which move in the air, which want to grab me and they are grabbing me and they're wrapping themelves around me and they want to grab me, that's what's happening, 'cause I'm at Malkasten and people are sitting at all the tables and their eyes are looking at me and their eyes want to grab me and I have my hands down the coat pocket of the man who was sitting next to me and I'm holding on to my pipe, 'cause my pipe's in his pocket and I'm strong and I'm trying to get my hands loose, but he just grips my wrists harder, but I'm strong yes, so I can use my strength if I want to, but then my pipe may get broken. I must look at him. I am looking at him. Translated by Louis Muinzer
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